Friday, March 19, 2010

Till The Next Goodbye

We departed Hong Kong on March 14, Sunday, two years and twelve days after we arrived. For weeks before we left friends and acquaintances asked the same question asked of us just over two years ago, "Are you ready?" My answer then, now, always, "No."

As for material matters, when you have a moving company pack everything, there is a huge burden lifted, but there is still an incredible amount to sort, organize, separate, discard, give away. Pack the tape measure and furniture measurements in the suitcase to have when apartment hunting. Remember the list of account numbers. Remember the electronics chargers. Donate books to the local used bookstore. Donate household items to the Salvation Army conveniently located in Wan Chai. Give plants to friends, even though said friends look as if I'm handing them a small child to care for. Oh, buy wine… of course, buy wine. We did this the day before the movers came so they could pack and ship it since GS pays for the import duty. Wine and other alcoholic items cost a terrific amount more in Singapore due to the heavy tax on them, so we tried to bring a small stock.

Believe it or not, I started the clutter-clearing process back in January. It's shocking how much accumulates within a two room apartment in two years, much of it in the form of paper. Don't be disappointed; I still saved much for the last second, though I did sleep for about three hours the night before the movers came, which meant I still had to remove the bedsheets along with other last grab items once they were already charging in. I never saw all of them in the same room at once, but I estimate there were eight movers. For such a small place, it took a surprisingly long time for eight men to pack it up, about five hours. My reliably generous friend and neighbor Maggie brought me a sandwich around 2:30 just before they left since I hadn't eaten all day. Maggie.

And then the other matters... I know a lot of people in Hong Kong, but I doubt I was anyone's closest friend. Having said that, I will miss some of them a great deal. Such uniquely wonderful people: Nicky, fellow librarian with a librarian's nature (the good kind, not the crazy kind); Peggy, my first Kiwi kindred spirit; Victoria, my Queen's English language tutor and match in dry humor (humour to her); Kathleen, with whom I spent one of my most idyllic days on the small island of Cheung Chau back in 2008; Leslie, the L.A. attorney/surfer girl who loves the search for good food as much as I do; Maggie, sweet, infinitely generous, endlessly energetic, fun and the best foot massage companion from Idaho I've ever known.

Some friends avow they'll visit us. My faith in the promise of visitors has dwindled over two years (forgive me, but if I'm wrong, let me know when you're arriving) but we might actually see some Hong Kong friends in Singapore. It is barely a 3.5 hour flight and a lot of people pass through here for work. Actually it's such a common migration - kind of like moving from Staten Island to New Jersey - that I will already have four acquaintances in Singapore. One is Kate, the girl who organized the first group I went to where I met my friend Liz (who since returned to London) and Nicky and eventually Kathleen. The others are friends of friends whom I have met at least once in Hong Kong.

Similarly to when we left NJ we had a wealth of farewell get-togethers. Maggie, the Great Organizer, planned a party for us on a junk boat one week before we left. It turned out to be just a group of ten, but it was a great group of ten and it was a lot of fun to spend some of our last moments in Hong Kong sailing around that spectacular harbor with friends, and I thank them for it. I was a bit saddened that a couple of very good friends couldn't share the moment with us due to unfortunate timing. My friend Kathleen had to fly back to the US the day before because her husband's grandmother was ill and subsequently passed away. Another good friend, Leslie, is recuperating from surgery related to breast cancer. She's going through a very difficult time, and I hate to move on knowing a friend will need support. Fortunately her mother is staying with her and she has so many friends at her side, even if they often feel helpless as true friends do when they want so much to take away the hardship of the other.

I feel obligated to say something final about living in Hong Kong, but I believe that a summary would be inadequate. I hope that I've captured certain essences in two years' documentation here. The rest is for that book I'm writing… for the last 30 years or so. There are things we meant to do and see before we left, but we'll have to save them for a visit back. Aren't there always things you've meant to do and see before you've left?

Hong Kong's a great city. I thoroughly enjoyed my days and nights in it and my travels from it. It's loud and crowded yet surprisingly calming and comforting after traveling to mainland China or Vietnam or Thailand. People do walk into you a lot, but I just look at it as an ongoing practice in agility. It's the only city I've seen besides NYC that really doesn't sleep - except for the unfortunate moment when we attempted to eat at the Flying Pan, a 24 hour diner, at about 5 a.m. during a bout of jet lag, and it was CLOSED! By the way, the L in Flying intentionally replaces R in a loving tribute to the Chinese mispronunciation - the clock on their wall says Time Fries. There's a lot to eat, as much as there is to avoid eating. Fish balls will never sound appealing to me. Ever. Sometimes smells wafting from food stalls make my nose crinkle.

It has a great skyline. It's hot and humid and the air quality is terrible, but the cinemas are really clean and comfortable. Public transportation is a wonder of efficiency. Bus drivers drive certifiably dangerously. Taxi drivers are sometimes lunatics but most often courteous and reliable and my directions were almost always understood. People love wearing tee shirts with random English phrases or pseudo-philosophies on them, like Hitch your wagon to a star, Turn the lights out when not at home, No reason why I'm single. I always wondered if they understand the words or just like the way they look. Local Chinese say 'hello' in a tone hilariously reminiscent of Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley.

I love my neighborhood of Wan Chai and we couldn't have chosen a better place to live. It felt like home - in a comfortable, crazy, temporary, transplanted way. What I will miss most will probably occur to me after not seeing or hearing or tasting it after a few months. But there is no Denino's.

What there is here is a community of people in the same situation: being expats. This is what shaped my personal experience in Hong Kong. Really, it's what made it easy to live in a foreign land. So when I try to compose a final, grand statement about Hong Kong, I think about the people more than anything else. A city as great as Hong Kong reveals itself more brilliantly when its treasures are shared.

Fittingly, we spent our last night out with Maggie and her husband Chris at Wagyu, the place Paul and I stumbled on for brunch one Saturday in our early days - Paul wrote about it back then - we liked it so much we made a same day dinner reservation immediately after finishing brunch, and it has been my favorite ever since. For the finale, all four of us indulged in the Wagyu beef. It was the perfect ending with good friends. I would have stayed out all night to avoid the inevitable, saying goodbye. I remained collected as the moment arrived, hugged Maggie and Chris, but once they waved while getting into the cab on Queen's Road to head back to J Residence without us…

And so we begin again in Singapore. I don't know if I could feel more fortunate for all we've done and seen, thanks to Paul's long work hours and both our willingness to say yes.

Yes, Yes, yes.

Enjoy Part II with us.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

(Just Like) Starting Over

Our life together is so precious together
We have grown, we have grown
Although our love is still special
Let's take a chance and fly away somewhere alone

It's been too long since we took the time
No-one's to blame, I know time flies so quickly
But when I see you darling
It's like we both are falling in love again
It'll be just like starting over, starting over...

...It's time to spread our wings and fly
Don't let another day go by my love
It'll be just like starting over, starting over

Why don't we take off alone
Take a trip somewhere far, far away
We'll be together all alone again
Like we used to in the early days
Well, well, well darling

It's been too long since we took the time
No-one's to blame, I know time flies so quickly
But when I see you darling
It's like we both are falling in love again
It'll be just like starting over, starting over

Our life together is so precious together
We have grown, we have grown
Although our love is still special
Let's take a chance and fly away somewhere

(It's John Lennon, in case someone doesn't know and thinks I'm that poetic)

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Hot Hot Hot

I haven't abandoned a Vietnam post. It's just that enough time has passed that I have to reach back in my mind to write about it, so I decided to write about the more recent trip to Singapore first, otherwise soon I will have to reach back twice and I might strain something.

We went to Singapore on February 21 to get a look at the place. We've committed already so it's not as if we could say, "Nah, this isn't for us," but a preview couldn't hurt. It's less exciting than the blind leap we took arriving in Hong Kong to live, never having visited it. I realized that folks in the other hemisphere might not know anything about Singapore. Here are selected bits from trusty old Wikipedia:

Singapore, officially the Republic of Singapore, is an island city-state off the southern tip of the Malay Peninsula, 137 kilometres (85 mi) north of the equator, south of the Malaysian state of Johor and north of Indonesia's Riau Islands. At 710.2 km2 (274.2 sq mi), Singapore is a microstate and the smallest nation in Southeast Asia. It is substantially larger than Monaco and Vatican City, the only other present-day sovereign city-states.

Singapore is the 5th wealthiest country in the world in terms of GDP (PPP) per capita.

In 2009, the Economist Intelligence Unit ranked Singapore the tenth most expensive city in the world in which to live—the third in Asia, after Tokyo and Osaka. The 2009 Cost of Living survey, by consultancy firm Mercer, has ranked Singapore similarly as the tenth most expensive city for expatriates to live in.

The population of Singapore including non-residents is approximately 4.99 million. Singapore is highly cosmopolitan and diverse with Chinese people forming an ethnic majority with large populations of Malay, Indian and other people. English, Malay, Tamil, and Chinese are the official languages.
You might think it's the part about it being the third most expensive city to live in Asia that would make Paul groan. No, no, it's this part...

Singapore has a tropical rainforest climate with no distinctive seasons. Its climate is characterized by uniform temperature and pressure, high humidity, and abundant rainfall. Temperatures range from 22 °C to 34 °C (72° to 93 °F). On average, the relative humidity is around 90% in the morning and 60% in the afternoon. During prolonged heavy rain, relative humidity often reaches 100%.

So we're moving from hot to hotter, 85 miles from the equator! Oh, the hair horror. This probably evokes no sympathy from New Yorkers after this winter, but as much snow as you've shoveled will be as much sweat as we shall mop.

We got to fly there in business class, as we weren't paying, so I wished the flight was longer than 3.5 hours. I only got to watch one movie in my comfy pod. We also got to stay at The Four Seasons which ain't too shabby. It's right off Orchard Road, the main shopping district. There are more malls in Singapore, particularly on Orchard Rd., than I believed could exist. I suppose the world's 5th wealthiest citizens need someplace to spend their money.

The first impression of Singapore might be that it feels like Florida. Palm trees line the wide roads and there's a resort feel to it. It's also a little like Disney World in that it is incredibly clean and highly organized and feels somewhat artificially fabricated. Until a free trade agreement with the US in 2004, chewing gum was illegal (it's hard to scrape off the sidewalk). Restrictions have since been relaxed and gum can now be imported for medicinal purposes (so we could take up smoking and then try to quit and then freely chew nicotine gum). There are plenty of such rules. "Caning" ring a bell?

We were expecting fierce heat so it didn't seem so bad our first night walking around. There was a downpour that lasted a couple of hours in the early evening before we wandered about for dinner. We wanted something near the hotel so the concierge suggested a quaint French bistro and it was pretty good.

The next morning a representative from our relocation company met us in the hotel lobby to start an orientation. She was a British lady named Liz who's lived in Singapore for five years. She gave us a bag filled with books and maps (good thing I failed to buy any before the trip) and then we were off in her car cruising around the various areas of Singapore.

We first got out and walked about in an area called Holland Village and from the quick glimpse it felt very... like a village. A village created for expats. After living in the heart of Hong Kong I instantly felt a vague panic that there would be nothing more authentic on offer here. I can officially declare now: I'm a city girl at heart - and Holland Village was pleasant enough but gritty city was nowhere in sight. But it was just the first stop. Liz continued to drive and point to places, buildings, landmarks - all whose significance meant very little to us from the window of a car. We next stopped along a small unimpressive beach along the East Coast where many expats are said to live because you can get more home for the money outside the city. Its flaw: it's outside the city. I didn't even find it pretty or scenic enough to be a draw; it did nothing for me.

We then stopped in Chinatown for lunch. As we walked past clean, neatly arranged stalls Liz said, "This must be a lot like home." I would say it was more like the version of Chinatown you would find in Epcot Center - no frenzy, nothing out of place, no recently butchered animal parts hanging on display, no slick sidewalks from the hosing down of fresh fish or the scents that accompany them. I admit, it was a very quick glimpse and with such a large Chinese population these scenes must exist somewhere in the city, though probably still in a clean and orderly fashion.

After a long day of chauffeured exploration we tried to identify places we'd seen on the map. It was still a bit disorienting. Singapore is very small yet it's more spread out than the the urban area of Hong Kong. That evening we had some pasta and pizza on Orchard Road (did NOT qualify for our certain future task of locating the best pizza in Singapore).

The next morning we met Liz again along with Lilian, our real estate agent. She gave us a list of places to view for the day. To make a long list short, we saw four places in total - not exactly a blockbuster day in the two-day house hunt we came for.

In summary, the very first place we saw was easily the nicest apartment overall in our two day search and we did consider it in our decision process but it was near Holland Village and ultimately we decided that we preferred to live in a more central location. We also saw one other place we liked in a brand new building with a fabulous view of the marina but we asked to see it again the next day and it was already gone. We saw another unit in the same building but it wasn't nearly as nice as the first, particularly the view, so we focused on other options.

After the first day, we both tactfully expressed a desire to see more than just brand new buildings in expat areas and to see what different prices will get us, not simply anything only at the TOP of our budget, thank you. As simple as this may sound, both Liz and Lilian seemed perplexed by the suggestion at first. I suppose there was some later discussion with the woman in charge at the relocation company whose job it is to make our move easier. The next day was more fulfilling, with a viewing of 12 places in total and at different prices.

At the end of the second day as we discussed our options with Liz and Lilian, I stated that I liked a certain place out near Holland Village but that I didn't want to sacrifice living in the city for it. Liz said, "What do you mean?" Hmm. Momentarily speechless, I reached around for my advanced "splainin' skills"  because the sentence that I had just spoken couldn't have been more straightforward or clear in its meaning and hardly begged for elaboration. I mean that when I walk out my door I want to see people, things, people doing things, activity, a store or two where I can pop in for something useful. For a relocation rep, Liz, as well as Lilian, had such a narrow perspective on expat living and they subtly conveyed what felt like disapproval of our open-mindedness to an exploration of options.

Cutting to what matters, we did in fact see a place we were interested in. Soon after the second day's hunt ended we called Lilian to ask if we could look at it again the next day to check the details. Paul was scheduled to go into the office that morning so we went in the afternoon with a tape measure and a discerning eye. We left with a definite feeling of probably. From the apartment we walked around the local area to get a feel for it and we ate dinner at Chinese seafood place. We liked the flat and its facilities enough but we were hoping to feel comfortable in the surroundings. It's so hard to tell in a few hours' time. You start to compare everything to the place you currently live and that place becomes irreplaceable.

By the flight home the next morning, we decided it was a go. You may recall, in the early days of the blog, the detailed decision process I went through regarding our Hong Kong apartment choices. So, an overnight decision is fairly impressive for me, but I felt pretty good about it. None of the details matter here and now because the relocation rep called to say that someone else bid and the owner accepted their offer even though they had verbally agreed to ours first. Glad we've got someone looking out for us. We'll soon restart the search with the aid of the agent who championed our cause so brilliantly the first go.

And now for some odd "So this is Singapore?" moments... At the first apartment we looked at (the very nice one that was a bit out of the way of the city), the owner was there and she enthusiastically gave us a tour of the place. Her son, the one renting it out, was also there but I don't think he said a word. She told us she bought the units in this building for her children, so she spared no expense: no cheap curtains, large American style side-by-side refrigerator, units facing southeast to avoid the afternoon sun, etc. She had what I'll call a real zeal for selling. She said she prefers not to rent to single men and she was relieved to see we didn't have small children - because of the balcony. She also pointed out that the building was in a good location, outside the city. Because if you live in the city, you live with a mix of people... you might even get into the elevator with one of those people but not here.

We thought her statements a bit bizarre, but we were mostly just relieved to escape the hard sell and be on our way. Soon after that, our agent said she knew of a very nice building, but the location was questionable. Far out from the city? I probed. No, not exactly she hemmed. There was obvious hesitation in her voice but she eventually mumbled the words. "I have to ask your permission... to take you there... you see... it's near Little India." Gasp! Shriek! Good God, we lived a minute away from Edison, NJ. "Is it in our price range? Yes, can you show us the place, please." This is going to be an interesting process.

Another part of the picture is funny to recount but was rather unnerving at the time. At one place we viewed, as we pulled up to the building, a man was being apprehended by two cops across the street. They were trying to physically restrain him and he was fighting back, all rather quietly. The agent we were meeting was late so we had to stand outside and witness most of the scene. Who knows what he did. I guess backup eventually arrived with a car, not sure. Liz laughed as I observed, "Not the best first impression." We also laughed as she repeated the slogan seen on billboards throughout the city: Be aware - Just because there's low crime doesn't mean there's no crime!

Only one last impression to note. Any cooling breeze there had been which may have briefly tricked us into thinking 85 miles from the equator is bearable had utterly died by our last night there. We arrived back at the hotel after the walk around our potential neighborhood quite perspired, so we had a drink at the hotel bar. My choice of beverage - the chocolate milkshake. It was quite possibly the best chocolate milkshake I've ever tasted. If things get rough in the next apartment search, I know where to head to drown our sorrows.