Horse with No Name

So we’re almost at the end of the decade and surprisingly there are not a million best/worst of lists floating around (at least not around here). I think this is simply the result of the decade never having a name that caught on, and conceivably we could go from the 90’s to the 20’s without ever really over exaggerating the end of a 10 year period.

If someone mentions the 80’s it immediately conjures up some very specific impressions. Will anyone ever comment on the Oh’s? The 2000’s? It just doesn’t sound right, does it? The aught’s was used in the previous century and sounds about that dated. For example, “In nineteen aught two, men used to wear an onion hanging from their belts, as was the style of the time.”

I was recently listening to a podcast of a sports / pop culture writer turned podcaster that I follow, Bill Simmons of ESPN. He was speaking with Chris Connelly of early MTV for those that might remember, and they were discussing the best movie of the past 10 years.

Simmons claimed Almost Famous was the best movie of the decade based on Excellence, Originality, and Rewatchabilty. He then actually followed this up with a two part article defending his selection. Connelly tried to say that TV series like The Sopranos and The Wire were actually the movies of the decade, but I dismiss that argument. TV shows get the chance to change characters and story lines if they start to lose audiences while films aren't given such a grace period. I can't imagine how bad a movie would do if it had it's characters chase a Russian in the woods for an entire hour and then never refer back to the guy again. (If these were eligible, The Wire would take it in a landslide.)

I was a fan of Almost Famous but this certainly seemed like a stretch for the best overall film. My biggest arguments being: A) Did it reach an audience outside of its target? I’m not even sure everyone reading this blog has seen it. B) While it had some cool dialogue, is the movie ever referenced in real life?

Taking an example from the 90’s, many people that are admittedly not fans of horror / thriller films thought Silence of the Lambs was great. Eighteen years later and people still can’t hear the name Clarice without immediately repeating it in a long drawn out and creepy way. What would you drink with fava beans? I think you get the point and I can’t think of any specific scene or dialogue people go to for A F.

So without much going on and little to write about I decided to glance through the long list of movies that came out over the past nine and a half years and see what really was the defining film of the past decade. And after an initial look I was shocked how few outstanding films there really were. Suddenly A F didn’t seem like such a stretch. There were three themes that stood out as the most successful.

First, while independent films rose to prominence in the 90’s, garnishing Oscar nods for the first time, this past decade they were annually the best group of films represented. Almost every year at least one small film was up for best picture with a realistic shot of winning and there were several others each year that held their own both critically and commercially.

Some of the best were: Lost in Translation, Sideways and Slumdog Millionaire. While others may not be the best films of the year, they certainly topped many of their big budget rivals, like Juno, City of God, Little Miss Sunshine and My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Finally there was still a group that represented the independent spirit of targeting smaller audiences with original screenplays and quirky characters like Once, Memento and Amelie. I’m sure people are naming some other great indys I haven’t listed which is exactly the point.

One of the two big budget genres that really exploded this past decade was the Superhero movies. While they have been being made forever, box office receipts alone can tell the story that these movies have moved into a new realm. I think two in particular sit on top of this category. 2002’s Spiderman which I believe its impact in this film category is now overlooked because of its own sequels and others building off the foundation it laid, capping off of course with The Dark Knight, but more on that later.

The third and final category that seemed to dominate the twenty-oh’s (still not right) was the predetermined sequel / trilogies. The difference between these and other sequels such as Spiderman 2 were that they were budgeted for and filmed before the success or failure of their predecessor. While I think some of these were excellent, I will say now that I do not believe that any one of the individual films stood out on its own as the best picture of the decade, including the Harry Potter series which does not technically fit here but I have included. In best first order these include:

· Lord of the Rings

· Harry Potter

· Kill Bill

· Letter of Iwo Jima / Flags of Our Fathers

· Star Wars Prequels

While this may seem like a good trend and a director like Peter Jackson claims he was much more free to create the stories he wanted knowing he had the support to complete his vision, I also worry that some really bad sequels could be in our future. Prior to these successful franchises Matthew Broderick was contracted and paid to make Godzilla 2 before the original was released and then it bombed so badly the studio just took a loss on his salary and pulled the plug.

Another interesting sequel trend that took place this decade was the “delayed” sequel. In 2006 Basic Instinct and Clerks released sequels a combined 26 years after the original films. Stallone had a similar strategy releasing the next installments in the Rocky and Rambo franchises a combined 36 years after the last films. I would have hoped this proved that going back to past successes was a bad idea, but Rambo V is now in talks.

Anyway before I get on with my pick for the movie of the decade let me just say that much like the celebrity death of the decade, I hope one sneaks in under the wire (I may be watching Inglourious Basterds with my fingers crossed). Most years I could not remember what five films would have been nominated for best picture, particularly in the middle of the decade, and it makes me wonder if anyone actually did so before making the decision to increase the Oscar nominations to 10 Best Pictures, or just looked back to the 40’s when this worked.

And in no particular order, the losers are:

ANCHORMAN

While the Academy refuses to honor comedies I will not make the same mistake. I cannot think of a more rewatchable or quotable movie from the past decade. I don’t think I have the ability to change the channel during the street yard fight scene or the following recap back at the studio. Many of you may argue that other films in this genre were better like Old School, Wedding Crashers, Pineapple Express or the recently released and very funny The Hangover. But the bottom line is that you would be wrong. I realize it may fall a little short on the Excellence and Acting scales to be movie of the decade, but it certainly deserves to be mentioned. And if you’re wondering about its global appeal, Nike is releasing a Ron Burgundy sneaker, only available in Beijing (we may need to make a trip back). I’ll admit I’m a little worried about the recent buzz to create a sequel and have had some bad Clerks II flashbacks.

No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood, Mystic River, Gangs of New York

All well acted, well written, well directed and extremely intense films. All deserving of the Oscar nods they received as well as being mentioned on this list. I honestly could not tell you which one was better than the other, but I can also say I really have no desire to see anyone of them again.

Lost in Translation

A personal favorite that I could easily go on about the subtle genius of Bill Murray and the official introduction of Scarlett Johansson as a Hollywood starlet. However I realize that there is a large contingent of people, with good taste and respectable opinions, which either do not get or simply do not like this film. And I get that. I think I have a similar reaction to many critically acclaimed Cohen brother films. It’s my list and I could just pick this as best picture but I’ll respect the majority here.

Almost Famous

Previously discussed. A great film that is easily rewatchable and Kate Hudson’s pinnacle acting performance, having men around the country crushing on Penny Lane. Personally I think her performance and a more interesting topic made this film only marginally better than Wonderboys which I would include in the same category.

The Departed

Maybe it’s not fair to compare this to Marty’s other fantastic work, but I’d dig the Goodfellas DVD out 9 times out of 10 before popping in The Departed.

The Dark Knight

It may be that I’m just too old to think this could be the best film of the decade. It may be that its direct completion is just too close to say this film was that much better (specifically than Spiderman and Ironman). But it was a thoroughly entertaining movie that concentrated more on acting and storyline as well as action than any of its predecessors. Would Heath have been nominated if not for his untimely death? Probably. Would he have won? I’d say definitely not.

Gladiator

A much more entertaining film than A Beautiful Mind which was the picture Russell actually should have received the Oscar for. Rewatchable and quotable in the same mold as Braveheart of the previous decade. But not as quite as inspiring and not topping The Dark Knight for action movie of the decade.

And the winner is:

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

I’m disappointed myself. I was not trying to be deceptive earlier, I had made the above choices while writing and as much as it kills me to pick a movie with no ending, at the end of the day this was the best that the decade offered. I take solace in the fact that the sequels were predetermined and the movie had every right to not offer a tidy conclusion. It was well made, fun to watch and if you have 9 hours to kill, completely rewatchable. Will anyone ever refer to “the Return” and have everyone understand what they mean in the same way when they hear “the Empire” or “Jedi”. I doubt it, but only time will tell.

It’s very disappointing that I had difficulty picking a handful of movies and not honestly believing any of them were really worthy of a “best of the decade” billing. While if I did this for the 90’s I would have had trouble narrowing down my selection. Pulp Fiction, Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump, Goodfellas, Silence of the Lambs, There’s Something About Mary, Life is Beautiful, Saving Private Ryan, Braveheart, Good Will Hunting – and that is all just off the top of my head.

Burumpt! Burumpt! Burumpt!

What are those trumpets?

Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

"As by order of the Queen herself a last minute decision has been made that the 2002 re-release of Monty Python's The Holy Grail in theaters has made it eligible for competition in best film of the decade."

And the New Winner of the best movie of the first decade of the 21st Century Is:

1977's Monty Python's The Holy Grail

A proven champion, completely rewatchable, extremely quotable, and fondly referred to 32 years after the original release.

My suggestion would be to break The Grail out of the DVD cabinet and give it another go - or if you need something more recent, try one of the smaller films for entertainment and hope the "teens" offer something better. But I don't remember anyone ever referring to the teens of the last century, so we may be in for the long haul until the roaring 20's come back.

For now I leave you with this double blog for missing last month and we're off to Korea, hopeful filled with some exciting stories and photos.

Blog ya' later...

MASH

Yes, I'm still here. I've spent many hours in front of the computer in the last couple of weeks but obviously not on the blog. I've been trying to put together a trip for August and it has finally materialized.

I looked into several options including Lombok (an Indonesian island), Singapore and a nearby island, more than one area of China, Okinawa... I don't know how many places. But things kept falling through at some point either because of airfare prices, lack of availability of flights or chosen hotels, and mostly due to rainy season in this part of the world. Several people say, "So what! It's not that bad." But I am that person who seeks optimum weather conditions where possible, so Thailand or Vietnam would not be the places to go right now.

Curious yet? We chose another random place that had not even been on our must see list. One day I saw an online article listing the 28 finalists in the contest for the seven new natural wonders of the world. I looked through the list of 28 destinations and one seemed relevant to my search. Jeju, an island to the south of South Korea.

Research, research, research... and we're going to South Korea. It was supposed to be a long weekend sort of trip, but since we're passing through Seoul, how could we not stop there? We head to Jeju first for two days and then back to Seoul for the next two days. We leave next week. I hear Seoul is an interesting place, hardly any English spoken. And of course, no one I know has heard of Jeju because we always have to traipse ourselves just off the simple, obvious path, don't we? Looking forward to it.

The other thing I had been doing was studying for my advanced wine course exam. I originally took it back in March, the day after we returned from our two week stay in NY, where I told myself I would have plenty of time to study. I knew about two days into our stay that I could give up hope of having time to study and resigned myself to taking the test as practice. Not surprisingly, I didn't pass (though I did pass the tasting part in which you have to describe and identify a wine) and I signed up to retake the theory part on July 25.

So I spent the last four months studying every day for three hours. And if you're reading this, then you're someone who knows me well enough that you have a suspicious, puzzled expression on your face right now. Of course I didn't! I meant to... but I gave myself about two weeks. I crammed a lot in, but you have no idea how much information there is about the production of wine. And then - I got the same exact test as the last time. If you think that would help me, it didn't. There are so many possible facts they could pull out of the material, I only vaguely remembered what was asked the last time and I didn't think that they would give the same test as a whole, maybe just some questions. Another problem is that the way they ask questions, I come home after the exam, search the book, and still can't find a definitive answer to some of them. That's frustrating.

So I didn't even really want to say that I took the test again because I probably only did marginally better than the last time and it will be embarrassing if I fail it twice, but I had to come up with something to report over the last few weeks! Wine studying, trip planning. Sorry, folks.

We did go back to Macau a couple of weeks ago. We planned on it because the forecast predicted a sunny Saturday for the first time in weeks. The forecast lied, so we looked at the pretty pool through the raindrops on the hotel room window, took advantage of the spa at the Mandarin Oriental, and had a pretty good Portuguese dinner nearby before throwing some money away at The Sands. It was beautiful and sunny the next day while we checked out.

We also visited a winery here in Honk Kong recently. That's right, a Hong Kong winery. They import the grapes from other grape growing regions of the world and they make the wine here so it is actually produced locally. It's a small outfit and a small staff of three, but they were friendly and it was a fun evening with a group of fellow wine tasters.

Saturday in Macau

Sunday in Macau

8th Estate Winery

Sleeping With The Television On

I know. It's been awhile again. Not too much is going on here. Once you read this, you might stop wondering why I haven't written in so long.

Just so you rest easy, we did get the news that Micheal Jackson has left the building. I'll admit, I've got the Greatest Hits on my iTunes - strictly up until the 80's. I completely wrote the man off beyond the early part of that decade. (By the way, I'm not biased; I have cut-off points for the material and the shenanigans of other lapsed, self-indulgent, once-loved artists. See song above, the good ol' days, Mr. Joel.) Personally, even as a 10-year-old I didn't buy the whole sequined glove gimmick, but that was just my taste. In the last 20 years, between the trials, the lack of entertaining music, the baby-dangling, the increasingly frightening thing that had once been a nose - I was always amazed that he retained so many fanatical followers. Well. He's pulled off the ultimate comeback, hasn't he? You can't top an untimely death. It's not so bad to hear his music played more often, but I have chosen to avoid coverage of the memorial 'extravaganza.' It is a shame that such a talented kid became such a deteriorating shell of a human being, and he did contribute to music history, but I'll have to leave it at that.

July 1 was Handover Day (anniversary of Great Britain handing Hong Kong back to China). Several thousand people took to the streets to rally for democracy. I could hear them at times but I stayed inside that day. Paul passed through the crowds on his way home from work. Most people have the day off, but as usual he worked.

July 1 was also the day that smoking officially became prohibited in bars and restaurants here. I think there was already a law in place, but supposed loopholes meant that a few places could still allow it until July 1. After living in NY where that law was passed years ago and then NJ which soon followed, it was odd to come home with the smell of smoke on my clothes once we moved here. Obviously it doesn't affect us, except that Paul lost his last hopes of smoking the occasional cigar out in a bar. There are still plenty of places with outdoor spaces so I'm guessing that smoking will still be permitted if you're outside. Of course, there's also some crazy legislative situation that, if not ironed out by next month, could ban outdoor dining in parts of Hong Kong. Now, that would be a shame. We don't smoke, but we do eat.

There weren't any 4th of July fireworks, but we did get to go to a BBQ. My friend Maura and her husband have an apartment with a HUGE outdoor terrace. Seriously, it's almost the size of our apartment. Maura's husband Paul is actually Canadian (shh!) but handled the traditional grilled goods rather well and gladly participated in the spirit of the day. There were also several Brits there enjoying themselves. I guess they've moved on from that whole matter of revolution and independence, blah, blah. Good sports. It rained in the morning and it rained at night, but we made it through the festivities without getting wet, besides the usual July-in-Hong Kong-sweat. And I happened to find some of the best cupcakes I ever ate. You see, cake and pastries here sometimes look appetizing, but they frequently disappoint. A bakery called Sift opened down the street from us a few months ago and they exclusively sell cupcakes, and they looked promising. I always intended to try them so when the opportunity arose to bring a dessert to the party, cupcakes called out. They didn't disappoint. At all. Anyone here got another party coming up?

I've been looking in on my friend Maggie's two cats for the last week or two while she and her husband are visiting the U.S. They're pretty cute - as far as cats go. (Sorry, there are dog people and there are cat people.) They hid from me the first day and by today, which was my last visit before Maggie returns tomorrow, they beg me to play and they nuzzle my hands until they get some head rubbing and neck scratching. She also has goldfish and it's funny to watch the cats sit by the bowl and stalk the fish. Poor fish.

In health news, I haven't felt well on and off since we got back from Borneo. For two weeks, my stomach was unsettled. Then one day I woke up feeling awful with nausea and headache and dizziness and that fun stuff. Paul kindly came home from work and accompanied me to a doctor at a nearby hospital. The doctor suggested I stay overnight so I did. I'm not sure how necessary it was, but I felt badly enough to agree to it at the time. I was sort of dehydrated so one advantage of staying was having I.V. fluids. I felt better soon and couldn't wait to go home the next morning. After another couple of days I felt normal again for a week or two. This weekend my stomach became upset again. Maybe I picked something up in Borneo and it is still hanging around. I will probably go to the doctor this week. I guess that "Don't drink the water" business is serious. Not that I drank any tap water while we were traveling, but I did brush my teeth with it at times. This is only a guess anyway. I'm not self-diagnosing; I'm just thinking. I don't typically have stomach issues.

We don't let little stomach bugs stop us! We're planning a short trip in August, something less adventurous than the last one. I haven't booked anything yet, but it looks like we might go to Lombok, an island just east of Bali in Indonesia. I'll fill you in once it's arranged. I had wanted to go to a scenic spot in China called Guilin because it's only a 90 minute flight from here and the two people I know who have been there both really liked it. Also, our China visas expire at the end of August and I don't know if we would bother to get another. But the temperatures there are in the mid 90's right now with heat indexes like that of hell. I also read of flooding from heavy rains in that province last week. So... We'll probably settle for having seen Beijing in China.

The only other thing we had been doing recently was watching The Wire on DVD. We finished all 5 seasons a couple of weeks ago. This set of DVDs from Shenzhen didn't work out as well as the two seasons of Mad Men. Who knew that copies of DVDs that come from some guy in China who's hiding in a ceiling would be of poor quality? The first three seasons ran smoothly, but by the fourth, episodes were skipping, stopping and generally frustrating us at the worst moments. I guess you get what you pay for. I ended up downloading a handful of episodes from iTunes.

Anyway, we really liked the show. It was an HBO series that I think ended in 2008. We liked it much better than The Sopranos in the end. The writing was better in that every incident served a purpose in the greater story. I didn't know what it was about when we bought it. Paul just heard it was good. If I knew it was about drug dealers and cops and politicians in Baltimore, I probably would have passed. But it transcended its crime drama genre and was very intelligent and realistic and moving - once you pick up the lingo of the Baltimore streets. No doubt (see also: mos def). There were some great characters, and I miss them since we finished the show.

So, we need a new show on DVD, especially since it's summer rerun time. I know Mad Men starts again next month and Entourage is back (a silly one, but entertaining enough). We just like to have DVD options now that we're spoiled by them. We would probably prefer cable shows over network shows. And it's true that we don't like about 90% of what most people consider "must see." Just some possibilities:

Dexter
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
True Blood

Any fans or detractors on these? Any ideas are welcome. Well, not just any actually. Good stuff.

The Joker

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?

A: Here come the elephants.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming with sunglasses on?

A: Nothing, he didn’t recognize them.

Knock. Knock.

Who’s there?

Orangutan.

Orangutan who?

Orangutan times but she wouldn’t answer.

So that’s all I’ve got for you on our trip to Borneo. I think Lisa gave about as detailed an account as possible with the possible exception of A) exactly how intense the storm was in a hut on stilts in the middle of the sea B) exactly how cool and disgusting the cave was at the exact same time.

There was another (slightly strange) couple with us that started discussing with our guide (who did not accompany us in because he could not take the smell) all of the other bat caves they had been to. While seeing this one time was really cool, I find no reason to ever do it again in my life. All I know is if Wayne Manor was really built on a bat cave they would have a much bigger roach and odor problem then they let on.

Beyond some fairly serious stomach issues since returning we really have not been up to too much. We have some time off in August but still have not decided what we will be doing. The couple we met while diving in Sipadan forwarded us some underwater pictures – some we were witness to, some not, but we did dive the same sights so you can have a look.

Also we just wanted wish all the Dads a Happy Father’s Day and my Mom and Gianna each a Very Happy Birthday!

Turtle the size of a Smart Car

There were no shortage of these guys

You're not allowed to hang on for a free ride.

Looks like he's doing the Peanuts Christmas dance move.

Sea Cucumber -this is a delicacy in China.

Bumper head parrot fish - we saw massive schools of these guys & they are huge.

Lots of starfish

Creepy eel taking a peek out.

Another taking a swim.

Lot's of weird things down there.

I think they might be related.

Octopi

Not to be confused with apple, cherry or woodpecker.

Puff Daddy

Sh sh sh sharrrk!!!!

We've seen so many now we've lost count.

Fully prepared to just punch it in the snout.

Here come some barracuda

Uh-oh, here come some the other way

Starting to "tornado"

It's in full swing now

We actually didn't get to see this.

View from below.

Apeman

How I love this song!



Part 2: Nature Lodge Kinabatangan
[See part 1 below]

After Kapalai... From Semporna we were driven back to the Tawau airport where we took a short flight to Sandakan, another necessary overnight stop. At least the town was less shabby than Tawau, and for a budget hotel the room was surprisingly decent. We got there early so we had lunch, took a walk, took a nap and had dinner at the hotel's waterfront restaurant where we had a surprisingly good fresh fish.

The next morning a driver from the Nature Lodge Kinabatangan picked us up. For the next three days I was bathed in a batter of sunscreen, insect repellent and sweat. And more insect repellent. At least it proved mostly effective.

First, we stopped at the Sepilok Orangutan Rehabilitation Center. They rescue orangutans either orphaned or kept as pets and work to re-release them back into the wild. A volunteer spoke briefly about the efforts. It should be an opportunity for a sure sighting of orangutans relatively up close because there are scheduled feeding times at 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. At the 10:00 feeding we attended, a crowd gathered on a platform in the reserve and two workers waited on another platform with a bucket of bananas and a bucket of milk .

It was slightly disappointing that only two orangutans appeared for the free breakfast, one with a baby attached. They also appeared shy to the curious onlookers and they hardly faced us. In the short time they ate, maybe ten minutes, they still demonstrated remarkable human-like qualities. (Orang utan means 'man of the forest') One took almost all the bananas out of the bucket in search of the perfect specimen. They are just fascinating, and I wish I got to watch them longer. They disappeared back into the trees quickly. I suspect that such intelligent animals have learned to simply wait a few minutes after the crowds have gone and then come to eat the food left on the platform without all the gawking. Wouldn't you?

After a long drive and then a quick boat trip across the Kinabatangan River we arrived at the lodge. Here, our accommodations were simple but adequate: an individual "chalet" with twin beds, windows with screens, and a ceiling fan that sounded something like a helicopter. We did have our own bathroom, but that didn't guarantee that we always had water. They get water from the river and then boil it and treat it before delivering it. I suppose the system shuts down at night because we never had water before our 6 a.m. river cruises (I know - again!!) but it was flowing again by the time we ate breakfast. We had the same deal here, three meals a day, never quite hot, never that good but got the job done.

We were grouped with the same six or so people for the three day's activities. There were a couple of young men backpackers from Bristol, England who were friendly. They had the cheaper rooms with bunk beds and without bathrooms - they wanted to know if our rooms had air conditioning. No, sons, we're sweating and eating the same grub as you. We just paid a lot more to not have to walk outside to a bathroom.

Soon after arrival we took our first afternoon river cruise. Our guide on all our adventures, Aziz, was extremely knowledgeable on the local wildlife and he was fun to listen to, but I'm not sure he spotted anything that some other guide didn't spot first on the river. Not long into the first cruise we spotted our first orangutan. O.k., we spotted another boat in which everyone was looking up at an orangutan.

We sat patiently and quietly staring upwards into the green foliage to spy a spot of brown moving through them. They're quite elusive; I never would have located it myself. They know when they are being watched and they aim to put on as little show as possible, so naturally they are difficult to spot. They can remain still for hours. Even from a distance it was a thrill to be so near to the world of the orangutan. They are only found in Borneo and Sumatra. Just when we thought we were lucky to see one, farther down the river we saw another (another boat of people looking up where we soon followed). The second was higher up and harder to see, but it was there. Soon I was inspecting every shadow high among the treetops.

Aziz told us the forest had been generous to us that day. Indeed, we also saw two monitor lizards, the second largest lizard after the Komodo Dragon. We saw some Proboscis monkeys, but I could hardly tell what they were because they were so high in a tree. We saw a crested serpent eagle, a large bird of prey. I was proud of myself for spotting long-tailed macaques on the muddy banks until Aziz said we would see plenty of those. Still, I saw them first!

There's another animal we had the hope of seeing, but I knew it was only a possibility not a probability. The Borneo Pygmy Elephant, a species unique to Borneo, also shares the jungle real estate. Aziz told us that they had been seen earlier in the week, but he got reports that they had crossed the river to the side where the lodge was and had gone inland, so we would not likely see them along the river. In fact, he was concerned they were too close to the lodge for our jungle treks. The lodge itself has an electrified fence around it so they no longer approach it. I find that a little sad because their time-honored paths are becoming off-limits and their roaming space continues to vanish as the forests have been nearly depleted and palm oil plantations cover the formerly vast jungle.

After dinner, we pulled on some rubber boots, armed ourselves with flashlights and set out on a night trek. First I was hesitant considering the countless things with countless legs there must be in the jungle at night. Then I started to think it would actually be uneventful and kind of boring. It was fortunately not boring nor did anything creepy come too close. Aziz pointed out a couple of scorpions in a tree knot. I missed them, thankfully. We saw a serpent eagle sleeping on a tree branch and not far away on another tree was a serpent. I don't remember what kind of snake he said it was. Someone asked if it was poisonous. He said, "Mildly." We also saw a tiny frog and some other resting birds and not much else. No elephants.

Our next river cruise was at 6 the next morning. Nothing too eventful. After breakfast Aziz led us on a trek through the jungle to an oxbow lake. I don't know why, but we tore through the jungle as if in a race. It's not that easy keeping your footing in the mud either, with branches snapping back at you and roots tripping you up. The lake looked a lot like the river. Aziz caught a couple of fish for his lunch with a stick, nylon thread and white bread bait.

Oh, the trek back to the lodge... it's something I could have done without. It wasn't fun. Wasn't anything like fun. First of all, Aziz got lost. He took a wrong turn somewhere and never found the right way after that. He was reading markings on trees, yet he kept making more fresh marks with his knife at every turn. We couldn't figure out the logic because if he or someone else takes the same path, wouldn't they get lost if they followed those markings if we were lost when he made them? And it was hot. Jungle hot.

Then there were the leeches. Yes, I was aware of their existence beforehand, but I tried to block Stand by Me from my mind and bravely trek on. I think we did alright on our speedy passage to the lake but on the winding way back we ended up standing around a lot more while Aziz went wandering in search of revealing marks that would lead us home. I randomly lifted the flap of my pants pocket and the first leech I saw was right under the flap. I was just relieved it was not on flesh. The next one I saw was on Paul's shirt. He flicked it off. The next I saw was on the back of Paul's arm and I boldly plucked it from my beloved's skin before it did damage. We watched as the guide passed his hand over a few of them on a leaf and they waved along with his hand like magnets, following the scent of blood.

We heard, in my opinion, eerie, music coming from across the river. I think it was a mosque's call for worship, not sure. It probably helped us because we eventually found ourselves at the edge of the river, and fortunately modern-day jungle trekkers carry mobile phones. Aziz finally gave up and called the lodge for a boat to come get us. I'd say 'rescue' us but that sounds too dramatic. Though I was about to eat one of the backpackers. We tried to show some humor but it was so just hot and we just didn't feel like roasting in the jungle for so long. The boat picked us up and then we could see that we had gone past the lodge while lost.

I peeled my socks off once we returned from the three hour tour... the three hour tour. I had blood on my sock and near my ankle. Paul thought I must have got cut but I knew I didn't because I had big rubber boots on and nothing had been irritating me inside them. I examined closer and saw that it was a small hole surrounded by a circular mark. Leech. I didn't freak out, probably because I didn't witness the act or the swelled culprit behind it. The ones we didn't see were the ones that got us. Yes, us.

We ate lunch and just as we got up from the table, I noticed a big, fat leech at the table where Paul had been sitting. It was obviously full. Paul searched around his body but we didn't see any signs. Once he removed his shirt, the site of the leech's lunch couldn't be missed. Right above his ribs he was quite bloody. The crazy thing is how the bite is painless, yet the wound just keeps bleeding. He asked why I thought this whole thing was a good idea again. Cause we like monkeys?

We were relieved to be back in the boat that afternoon for the next cruise; leeches can't leap that far. Without a word, Aziz took off at high speed down the river without stopping to look for anything. After about twenty minutes traveling we saw other boats idling, and we realized there was word of elephants in the area and we were on their trail. We waited; we hoped. Nothing materialized. For such large creatures, they hide themselves well. We turned back in the direction of the lodge and cruised slowly. Aziz asked for the forest to show us something. Then we saw a boat in which everyone's eyes were fixed on the tall grass, and his request was honored, as if our hopes conjured the beasts.

She was hardly visible at first, but you could hear her. You could hear the grass rustling, hear her low pitched rumbles. Gradually her shape and color grew distinct. Elephant. She was such a sight. She was joined by another that we could mostly hear but not see. We watched until she vanished into the grass again. We thought that was our prize for the day and then we followed the sound of snapping grass to a male around a bend in the river. Before we knew it, we had hit the jackpot. Some were in clear view and some partial, but there were many. From the sounds and the movement of the grass, we could estimate at least a dozen elephants, maybe more. They were about 30 feet away from us, peacefully snacking on the grass and bathing themselves with dirt. One had a baby next to her.

We stayed and watched as long as we could but rather than the elephants leaving us, we had to leave them. We had gone so far and searched so long that it was starting to get dark. As we turned toward home an ominous black cloud loomed ahead while the sun sank behind us. The sky was brilliant and wildly colored. We knew what we were in for, but everyone was intoxicated from the elephant sighting. We almost made it before the clouds burst. The drenching rain, crackling thunder and electrified skies felt somehow the ideal finale to the whole experience. By the time we ran up the steps from the jetty to the dining hall the sky was black and the rain was pounding. We lost power for some time until the generators kicked in. Everyone remained until things calmed. Everyone was buzzing with memories of elephants.

At the end of the day even the blood loss was worth it. I love elephants. They have been my favorite wild animals for a long time. It was such a gift to see them in their natural environment. Their image remains in my imagination. I can still hear their gentle sounds and their thrilling trumpets.

Our last adventure was one more early morning cruise. This time we saw Proboscis monkeys that were much closer than the first time. I got to see their true shape and color and movements. They are so odd looking yet endearing at the same time. I enjoyed watching them.

After breakfast we departed the lodge and we made one last stop at a place called Gomantang Caves. I had read that there are hundreds of thousand bats there during the day. In the evening they swarm out and swiftlets (birds) swarm in for the night. These are the birds of bird's nest soup fame. Harvest time had just passed but workers were still guarding the cave because the nests are worth a fortune.

I noticed that ours was the only car on the road to the cave. I did read that the cave is covered in guano - the word for bat poop - I don't know why bat poop gets its own word, and that guano is a breeding ground for cockroaches so to skip the cave if you're squeamish. Why did we proceed? I don't have an answer to that one.

There is a forest reserve leading to the cave and we got to see another unexpected wild orangutan (barely) and a few red leaf monkeys which were cool. There was one other couple who went through the reserve and into the cave ahead of us. They returned while we were still looking at the monkeys and their talk was quite animated. I guessed later that they took one step in the cave and stepped right back out. Like sensible people.

We were warned it would be slippery, but nobody warned us about the smell. I don't know if I have words to describe it as it was like nothing we've smelled before. This won't be accurate, but the closest I could get in description is strong, stale coffee breath mixed with ammonia. It made our eyes tear. It was a short walk on a platform through the cave but not short enough. The bats were mostly on the ceiling which was very far away, but the cockroaches were everywhere. I just tried to look straight ahead and not touch anything. Once we came back out, the guide mentioned that it's not very popular with tourists. Really? Check bat cave off the list. Interesting to see; no need to ever see or smell again.

We were dropped off in Sandakan where we had hours to kill before our flight to KK. We revisited the same waterside restaurant before going to the airport. Our hotel in KK was conveniently located so it was only a ten minute walk to a waterfront area with some bars and restaurants where we were able to grab dinner. We flew from KK to Hong Kong the next morning. It felt good to be home and properly bathed.

Borneo was an uncommon, magnificent experience. Really, there were two distinctive experiences within one trip, each with its own outstanding features. There were labors included, but it was a soul-satisfying alternative to the ordinary, well worth the journey.

Well, Paul has been asking me if I've finished Borneo: The Book. Sorry for the length, but I didn't want to leave anything out.

I have no idea how to work with video just yet, but I included a quick clip below (if you're playing the music you might want to stop it).

Breathless

*Click the 'play' arrow to play the slide show. With mouse over the photo, you can use arrows to move back or forward or stop.
*Click on any photo and it will take you to the web album if you want to see the photos larger.

We're back in gray, steamy Hong Kong after a week in Borneo. This is the first of a two-part tale since we visited two very different places within the week. Let me provide a quick explanation as to where and what Borneo is since most people even around here asked, "Where's that?" when we said we were going.

From Wikipedia:
Borneo is the third largest island in the world and is located at the center of Maritime Southeast Asia. Administratively, this island is divided between Indonesia (Kalimantan, population 12,000,000), Malaysia (Sarawak and Sabah, pop. 6,000,000) and Brunei (pop. 490,000)... Malaysia's region of Borneo is called East Malaysia or Malaysian Borneo.

We visited Sabah in Malaysian Borneo. There were many planes, boats and automobiles and necessary overnight stops involved in the journey and a lot of journeying involved overall. If it sounds complicated to plan, it was. I bungled parts of the arrangements no less than twice, but in the end everything came together.

Planning this trip was itself an exercise in decision making. If you're adventurous enough to head to Borneo to begin with, there are a handful of well-worn spots throughout Sabah, and amongst those places there are some widely varying options for accommodation, tours and packages. You can go the backpacker route and pay very little, or you can pay a lot more to get little more - but little things mean a lot. There's not much in the mid-range.

For example, on the second part of our trip we had these options: 1) An incredibly popular wildlife camp where you sleep on a mat on a floor in a three-walled room protected by mosquito netting with a cold water bucket for bathing. 2) Lodges with individual cabins of varying comfort with shared toilet and bath areas. 3) Lodges with individual cabins of varying comfort with attached individual bathrooms. I wouldn't exactly call #3 luxurious, but you essentially pay luxury prices because having your own bathroom in the jungle is more-or-less a luxury. We're in our thirties (holding on). We paid for the place with the beds and walls and individual bathrooms.

Part 1: Sipadan-Kapalai Dive Resort

Saturday, May 30, we had an afternoon flight to Kota Kinabalu, often referred to as KK. The city is the main gateway to the rest of Sabah. It also has beach resorts that some people we know have visited. After a couple hours layover we flew southeast to Tawau and arrived at the hotel at 10:15 p.m. Here's a summary of our stay: We ate a quick, late "meal" at KFC, regretted my choice of the filet sandwich, started spotting wildlife earlier than scheduled with a couple of rat sightings between KFC and the hotel, then went to sleep. The place I chose was basic in the truest sense since we were there for exactly 8.5 hours.

At 6:45 the next morning a driver met us for the two hour drive down to the port town of Semporna where we stopped at the office of the dive resort I had booked and then boarded a boat to Kapalai. Also on our flight to Tawau, in our van, and on our boat was a friendly couple from Toronto. We began talking in the van, and learned that William was originally from Hong Kong and his wife Joey was from Taiwan. They had just been visiting Hong Kong before Borneo. William was an experienced diver, but Joey was as new as we are.

Kapalai is an unusual destination; it's a water village constructed over an eroded sandbar surrounded by the sea. There is no land under, around or near the resort - just wooden stilts, walkways and a cluster of 57 chalets rising from the water. Some of the sandbar is visible at low tide. The surrounds are quite breathtaking. Wherever you are, walking to the dive center, walking to the dining area or to and from the chalets, you can look below and see all sorts of life swimming through the crystal waters.

Our chalet was spacious, comfortable and pretty. It was very open, with many large screenless windows and wide open doors to the back deck where you could look out over the water at the activity below. The variety of life that swam beneath our feet was amazing.

Our package included three meals a day which were buffet style and served in a common dining area. The food was plentiful but not remarkable and often inexplicably not hot. The dive center was fairly well organized and well stocked. We don't own our own gear besides small things like masks so we had to rent.

After a quick breakfast and orientation by a dive master, we changed and immediately went out on our first boat dive not far from the resort. Around Kapalai is what's called macro diving, which means you're looking for small things, like Mandarin fish at this site, not the big stuff. I was relieved that I shook off my new diver nerves fairly quickly and felt more comfortable than I thought I would after seven months since last diving in Australia.

I found the dive masters there to be knowledgeable and hospitable enough and helpful if you asked for help, but they seemed to lack a general enthusiasm in guiding us. One gave us very little briefing of what we might expect to see at a particular site and no post briefing of what he did point out during the dive. Another was more helpful and identified what she was pointing out by writing on a board under water. As Paul concluded, they didn't take anything away from the experience, yet they didn't add much either.

After lunch we had our second dive at another Kapalai site. We saw the largest green turtle we would see. I can't even estimate its size, but William said jokingly, "It was bigger than my dining room table. You could have dinner for four on it!"

One shortcoming of the resort was that there was nothing to do after diving activities ended. There were no TVs in the rooms so after dinner we strolled around. I don't know how everyone else was occupying themselves because we were alone mostly everywhere we walked. There were spots that seemed as if they had been intended for people to gather or drinks might be served, but those spots were unattended. The most wonderful thing was that the whole place was mosquito-free! I could go anywhere and not become a feast as I normally am outdoors. We tried to get to sleep early anyway since our dive boat was scheduled to leave for Sipadan at 5:30 the next morning.

The simple reason divers visit this area is Sipadan Island. Some of the best dive sites in the world are here and sighting of large marine life is common. A few years ago, all the resorts on the island were shut and relocated to nearby islands in order to protect the area. Also, a permit requirement was instated; only 120 visitor permits are issued each day for diving. It could be a real disappointment if it doesn't happen, but we followed the standard procedure of giving the resort our information beforehand and they applied for the permits for us. So we were relieved at the end of our first day to see our names on the roster for the next day. I guess they try to make the most of it because you get four boat dives in before lunch when typically you wouldn't do more than three dives in a day.

The alarm was set for 4:50. As it turned out, we didn't need it. The air had been palpably still that night when we went to sleep. At almost the very moment the alarm sounded, a shocking crack of thunder diminished it. It was still dark. Before we had time to rub the sleep from our eyes, we were racing around the room shuttering all the windows and doors. A tempest brewed in a matter of seconds. Terrifying thunder exploded; lightning illuminated the endless darkness, and the rain slashed at our shelter in the sea. It was exhilarating, to say the least.

Our worry was what to do about the trip to Sipadan. We didn't want to miss it, but it seemed dangerous to even step outside, never mind getting on a small boat. We waited it out and at around 5:30 the storm subsided. We hurried over to the dive center and others were just getting there and getting geared up also. We headed out into the grayness of the still unsettled morning.

The weather started getting rough... the tiny ship was tossed... just kidding. The Minnow was not lost.

After about a 20 minute trip, we plunged into our first dive of the morning with a group of six. The weather wasn't perfect and the water was a bit rough on the surface, but it was fine under water. There was indeed a lot to see: reef sharks, green turtles, lots of bumperhead parrotfish, which are pretty wild looking. The sharks were not as frightening as you might imagine. We're not talking about anything too massive. They just swim silently by.

After the first dive we rested on Sipadan Island. We saw more of the same on our second dive. Then we had breakfast on the island. Our third dive was at a site called Barracuda Point where, if you're lucky, you'll see huge schools of... barracuda. We weren't lucky, no tornado of barracuda. We didn't know until later that the best chance is early in the morning, so I'm not sure why it was our third stop.

I decided that three dives was enough for me. I didn't want to miss anything, but I listened to my body which told me I was done. Paul did the fourth dive. He said there was an impressive coral wall, but that I didn't miss anything I didn't see at the Great Barrier Reef. The dive master also led the group into a cave to the point of darkness which I'm not sure I would have enjoyed anyway.

We returned to Kapalai, ate lunch and took a well-deserved nap. The weather was lovely by the afternoon so we sat around watching the sun set. In some ways, you can't complain about having nothing to do.

After dinner, we sat on the back deck of the chalet and spotted turtles in the night sea. There was a light fastened underneath each deck. Something underwater nearby looked like a rock or a shadow at first. Then we heard a snorting sound in the distance. Eventually the shadow moved and came up for a snort of air and we realized that we were hearing the snorts of several other turtles out in the darkness. William and Joey were in the chalet next to us. They heard us, or we heard them, and William called over the wall, "Paul, is that you?" Paul responded and we jovially pointed out some turtles to each other. It was good to share a bit of camaraderie while enjoying the turtle watching. I could have watched them all night.

We had a much later start the next morning - 8:30. We went out to an island called Siamil. It was a 45 minute boat ride over rough water and the driver went very quickly so we bounced around a lot. The first dive was nothing special, more macro stuff. The dive master pointed some things out, but we had a bigger group so it's hard to gather around a tiny point of interest among a cluster of divers. After the dive, while we were resting on the island, Paul and I both decided to skip the second dive. We were both a little queasy, probably from the boat ride and rough water and just starting to grow tired. We went back to Kapalai for lunch and rested and felt better by the afternoon dive. That one was fortunately two minutes from the resort. We saw some interesting smaller things like ribbon eels, a cuttlefish, a lionfish and a baby octopus.

We had the option of sunset dives and even night dives and unlimited shore dives (from the jetty of the resort) but we didn't do anything in addition to the boat dives because we just didn't have the energy. Three submersions a day suffices for me so far. We also heard that the snorkeling around the resort was spectacular but again, this was vacation after all.

We said farewell to William and Joey at dinner that night. William showed us all the underwater pictures he had already uploaded to his laptop. He got a lot of good shots. We had hoped there might be underwater cameras available to rent as there were on our Australia trip (though they ran out then) but there were none. We're getting more comfortable under water, still I don't know how good we'd be at under water photography anyway. We may never know because the cameras and cases are so expensive! Hopefully William will email me a link to the photos, and if he does I'll share them. It's not really cheating if we saw a lot of the same things in the same places though on different days.

We packed that night in preparation for our 6:30 a.m. departure (I know!). I had to tear myself away from turtle watching to get to bed. We didn't need to wait till early morning for the storm that night. Just after I got into bed, I decided to get back up to move something inside that I had drying out on the deck. I just had a feeling. Maybe an hour later, I awoke to a cool, gentle breeze. Within seconds, no exaggeration - seconds, the wind was howling fiercely and we found ourselves rushing to shutter everything again. The rain was ushered by wind this time, no thunder or lightning, but I think the wind was more frightening. I told myself rationally that the builders of the resort must have taken into account regular storms such as these. The thought was only slightly comforting as we lay in our bed which was shaking within the chalet from the wind. Eventually exhaustion set in and we fell back asleep while the gusts continued.

The morning was clear and the boat ride back to Semporna was a lot calmer than previous ones and I enjoyed it. There was even a rainbow along the way. Kapalai was unique and enchanting, its setting soothing to the spirit.

Stay tuned for Part 2. There are mosquitoes and then some on the next leg of the journey.