Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
I’m not over excited about the holidays that have recently past, it’s just strange that we had to move to a communist country for it to be socially acceptable to acknowledge the actual holiday we’re celebrating. So I’m just getting it out of my system while it doesn’t offend anybody and before we move back to the land of the free.
And though belated, you are getting the very special gift of back to back blogs. I believe Lisa did a good job summarizing our holiday Christmas and New Years activities (It takes some getting used to and please don’t take this the wrong way. I’m more than happy to join in any Chanukah, Kwanzaa or even Festivus celebrations, I just don’t believe we need to merge them. Interestingly enough Christmas marketing must play as strong a role in the East as well as in the West because for a country of primarily Buddhist and Taoist, Christmas was quite evident but I did not see one Menorah or Festivus pole - though I may have been considered a festive Pole).
One thing for sure between starting a new job and our suddenly very active social life I have met a lot of new people. One quick way of trying to remember everyone you meet, especially when it is person after person, is by the things we are never allowed to say out loud but make note of in our head. For example, sex – Nancy’s the pretty blond, race – David’s the black guy, nationality – Jeff’s the Korean guy, lazy eye Marie, bald Alex, etc.
Well these little politically incorrect tricks go out the window when 9 out of every 10 people you meet are Chinese. Hair and eye color become almost virtually useless as well. To make matters worse when you're a 6” 1”, 200lbs. white guy, with blue eyes and great hair in China everyone knows you by name before you even meet.
Of course in a line up I could pick out the girl in the ridiculously tight, extremely short dress that she was constantly pulling down from about her midriff all night New Years Eve that Lisa and her friends did not seem to like for some reason. But once again I bumped into a girl in our lobby the next morning that we were apparently hanging out with at the party and club and walked right by her. In my defense Lisa was with me and was just as clueless when she said hello.
After living here for a while you quickly learn to not assume that all Chinese people are local. I’d say at least half of the Chinese people I meet are from England, Australia or Canada (even though most that consider themselves Canadian end up having been born and raised in Hong Kong and then moved to Canada for their education and end up returning. Why Canada? No idea. And I’ve blatantly asked this question many times).
For those of you planning a visit (yes we’re still waiting) there are few tricks to picking out locals. First and foremost is that they will walk into you. That’s right, if you’re walking down a street and someone just seems to walk right into you for no apparent reason at all you’re most likely dealing with a local.
Why you may ask? Again, I have no idea. It is truly a phenomenon that needs to be experienced to be believed but it is very, very real. Ask any ex-pat about it and they will immediately go into a story. Just about every time you are out for a walk someone will bump into you. There are the ex-pats on their blackberries and cells that are hazardous on their own but the complete randomness of the local “dawdling,” as one person in our building referred to it, is quite an experience. Every trip out of the building involves an ever changing obstacle course.
If you see an elderly person there is a 94.6% chance they are looking at their shoes or staring at the sun and an 89.2% chance they are going to make a sudden stop or dart in another direction for no reason. You begin to develop a feel for this and passing these people is like passing a car on the highway in a snow storm that is doing 7mph and all over the road. You wait until they go far one way and make your move quickly.
Another sign that someone may be a local is something that might be considered rude or lazy back home but you grow accustomed to it once you are here awhile. Locals will not say thank you, or even acknowledge you for small acts of generosity. Most notably (and it seems to offend many ex-pats a great deal) is if you hold a door open for someone, they will just walk through. Personally I’m fine with this – in truth I think I prefer it.
However locals will also slide through a slightly ajar door so as not to have to push it themselves. Grown men will slow down so you will walk ahead and push the door open and then squeeze through like Indiana Jones sliding under a closing wall. This does annoy me at times and I’ve actually walked up to doors stopped and just started reading my blackberry refusing to open the door. This will get looks ranging form extreme confusion to outrage and people actually muttering what I am sure are Chinese curses as they tug the door open for themselves.
A final trait of the locals which can not be so easily picked out is a strong sense of superstition. Feng shui is basically a religion here and people spend a fortune on following its rules. There is an office building a few blocks from us that is supposed to look like two pandas climbing trees when seen from the peak of the island. The large claw like structures on top of the IFC building in Lisa's photos are suppose to be panda claws. There is an apartment building down by Repulse Bay that has been structured with a giant square cut out of the middle, so if a dragon flys out of the water it will go through the hole and not crash into their building. The buildings around the Bank of China are all boringly square because the bank's multi-angle structure is apparently throwing off such bad vibes it is the only way to deflect them.
I also work with people that have been refused rental of an apartment because they told the landlord to fit their furniture they would have to put the bed under three windows facing the door. If you have trouble picturing that, it basically sounded like the exact set up of our bedroom back in Fords. Another worker had a local over and when they showed them their daughter's bedroom they immediately started moving the bed and would not leave until they promised not to put it back the way it was (they did leave it this way because of course they figured why take a chance when it came to their child).
I know what you're thinking; trust me I've had the same exact thoughts. How can I get my hands on some of these nut's money? I've asked Lisa with all her free time, creative energy and writing skills to come up with some new thing-ama-jig, but so far nothing. It seems simple enough, just throw together a list of rules that combine:
- Marketability of a Happy Meal
- Eastern mysteries of Feng Shui
- Celebrity appeal of Scientology and Kabahla
- At least two annual occasions that involve eating and drinking
- Grave but not clearly defined consequences if you don't follow the rules
This season I did not wear it on the Monday night game for Cleavland because I was working. I brought it to the Philippines and Australia and all was good. However when we returned the laundry was backed up and I did not have it for the next two Sunday's (Philly and Dallas). It made a triumphant return against Carolina and was in the wash again last Sunday. I think I'm going to make sure it's clean the next three weeks even if I have to hand wash it.
But I guess I got off the topic of all the crazy local superstitions.
I just want to close out by thanking everyone for all they have done for us over the past year. I know at times it is asking for a lot and we really do appreciate it. And I hope everyone has a great 2009 with plans of visiting the Far East!
Blog ya' later.
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